I’ll admit it – I’m embarrassed. Embarrassed at how little I’ve been writing, here or in my actual writing. Someone asked me today how my writing was going and I had to say it wasn’t. Now this wasn’t entirely true – I did write a chunk Saturday – haven’t transferred it to Scrivener yet so I don’t know how much I wrote, but I wrote. I wrote a little bit – a very little bit – yesterday too, and that counts. Still, I haven’t been putting real effort into it.
There are reasons – the reasons all writers have for letting their writing slip: life gets in the way. (I wonder, do artists and musicians have the same issues?) Part of that is learning to set boundaries: not answering the phone if you’ve set aside time to write: that time is important. Just as you probably wouldn’t take personal calls during a business meeting, so too you need to make writing a priority and not communicate with anyone while you’re doing it. It’s too easy to get lost down that particular rabbit hole of calls, emails, texts, tweets, posts…
I watched the season premiere of X-Factor tonight. I haven’t really watched it before and I’m not sure why I watched it this time, but I found myself ridiculously moved by several of the performers. Part of this I know, is in the show’s presentation of the events, but they can only play up so much – ultimately, the true story and the true emotions come through and if they really are true, they sweep you along with them.
I was swept.
And it made me ashamed. It made me remember what I love about my craft – that pouring of heart and soul into it, that self-expression even if I’m telling someone else’s story, that sheer joy in a job well-done and well-received… And it made me recommit to trying. I can’t commit to writing – the words might not be there yet – but I’m committing to working at it. I need to bring back the emotions of my story first – need to bring back the storyline and my excitement and interest in it (which I gotta tell you, really isn’t that far away), and I gotta then WRITE.
So if you’ll excuse me, I have some marker-and-drawing-pad brainstorming to do before I turn in for the night.