How much do I care?

I’ll admit it – I’m embarrassed. Embarrassed at how little I’ve been writing, here or in my actual writing. Someone asked me today how my writing was going and I had to say it wasn’t. Now this wasn’t entirely true – I did write a chunk Saturday – haven’t transferred it to Scrivener yet so I don’t know how much I wrote, but I wrote. I wrote a little bit – a very little bit – yesterday too, and that counts. Still, I haven’t been putting real effort into it.

There are reasons – the reasons all writers have for letting their writing slip: life gets in the way. (I wonder, do artists and musicians have the same issues?) Part of that is learning to set boundaries: not answering the phone if you’ve set aside time to write: that time is important. Just as you probably wouldn’t take personal calls during a business meeting, so too you need to make writing a priority and not communicate with anyone while you’re doing it. It’s too easy to get lost down that particular rabbit hole of calls, emails, texts, tweets, posts…

I watched the season premiere of X-Factor tonight. I haven’t really watched it before and I’m not sure why I watched it this time, but I found myself ridiculously moved by several of the performers. Part of this I know, is in the show’s presentation of the events, but they can only play up so much – ultimately, the true story and the true emotions come through and if they really are true, they sweep you along with them.

I was swept.

And it made me ashamed. It made me remember what I love about my craft – that pouring of heart and soul into it, that self-expression even if I’m telling someone else’s story, that sheer joy in a job well-done and well-received… And it made me recommit to trying. I can’t commit to writing – the words might not be there yet – but I’m committing to working at it. I need to bring back the emotions of my story first – need to bring back the storyline and my excitement and interest in it (which I gotta tell you, really isn’t that far away), and I gotta then WRITE.

So if you’ll excuse me, I have some marker-and-drawing-pad brainstorming to do before I turn in for the night.

Night, everyone.

About thewritingblues

I'm a writer working on a YA dystopian novel and blogging on my progress - or lack thereof - and other cool writing stuff.
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2 Responses to How much do I care?

  1. katkasia says:

    I feel just the same at the moment. Finishing up work in the next few days, so predictably enough everything has gone nuts, but I really want to be able to find some space in my brain and heart to be able to really devote myself to it properly, rather than in little bits of time stuffed in here and there.
    Don’t be ashamed – it seems to me from what you’ve written that the passion is still well and truly there – perhaps you just need some time. :)

  2. thewritingblues says:

    Thanks for the kind words, Kasia. :)
    I have to admit, your dedication to your writing is one of my inspirations when I need a kick in the butt. ;) I’m so happy your book’s out there – it’s on my list to read soon. I know you’ll find the time when the time’s right to continue on your next project because you rock that way. :) Cheers!

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